During your time as an au pair in the USA, it’s likely your host mom will play a big role in your life. Host moms can be a great source of comfort and advice and help you enjoy au pair life to the fullest. To help you build the best possible relationship with your host mom, we’ve compiled the top 5 ways to create a lasting bond.

1. Build a bond right away

It’s possible to starting building a relationship with your host mom as early as the matching and interview process! During your conversations with host families, you’ll be asking lots of questions about different topics—so make sure to include a few that will help you get to know your future host mom better. Once you match with a host family, it may be weeks or even months before you arrive in the USA and officially meet them in person. So use this time to continue getting to know your host family, including your host mom. Your effort will pay off when your first in-person encounter feels less like meeting a stranger and more like saying hello to a friend.

2. Communicate and be honest

Once you join your host family in the USA, you should be talking to your host parent(s) as often as possible about how things are going. Whether it’s through scheduled check-ins or more informal conversations, it’s important to share how you’re feeling and what you think is going well and not-so-well. It’s also important to listen to your host parents’ point of view and be openminded if they have suggestions or constructive criticism.

When communicating with your host parents make sure you tell the truth, no matter the circumstances. Being truthful is what creates trust—and the foundation of a good relationship.

3. Plan Ahead

As an au pair, your most important responsibility will be caring for your host children. But you’ll also have free time to take classes, travel with your friends and more! Even though you are entitled to time off, you’ll need to check in with your host parents about dates and times for vacations and classes if there is potential for them to interfere with the childcare schedule. And it’s always a good idea to do this with as much advance notice as possible! Knowing your plans in advance will help your host family adjust their own schedules and secure additional childcare coverage if needed. Another reason to plan ahead? Host families care about their au pairs’ well-being and safety and will feel better knowing what’s on your calendar in advance.

4. Express gratitude

Are there things your host mom does to make sure you’re having a great experience? Does she buy your favorite snack at the grocery store? Help you navigate college websites to find the perfect class? Cheer you up when you’re feeling homesick? If so, make sure to express gratitude so she knows you appreciate her. An earnest “thank you” or a heartfelt card and message are simple gestures, but they make a big impact. Gratitude tends to be contagious, so don’t be surprised if your host mom also expresses gratitude for all you do to help your host family.

5. Have Fun

Part of any great relationship is the ability to have fun together—and there are so many ways to do that with your host mom! Find a common interest—taking walks, watching the same Netflix show, cooking—and do those as often as possible together. Plan an simple outing for just the two of you to grab coffee or try an exercise class. Use conversation cards to get to know each other better. Host a dance party in the kitchen. Having fun together will strengthen your bond and make you both feel good!

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but by building a bond right away and practicing good communication, planning ahead, expressing thanks and having fun, your relationship with your host mom will thrive.